Equality of power and control

I just saw another right-wing, Christian post declaring homosexuality as a slippery slope into pedophilia and bestiality.

All right. Let’s have a talk about what a healthy sexual relationship is, boys and girls.
It’s equality of power and control.
That’s it.

An adult is only able to have equality of power and control with another adult.

“What about BDSM?” A healthy BDSM relationship requires consent, which is a hallmark of empowerment. By the way, Fifty Shades of Gray does not represent a healthy BDSM relationship. Those books are about abuse, The End.

“What about abusive relationships between adults?” An abusive relationship (any kind of abuse) is a symptom of an imbalance of power and control, which is never ever part of a healthy sexual relationship.

Once you start viewing sexuality as an expression of a person’s empowerment, the boundaries start to form pretty quickly. Homosexuality (or bisexuality. Or pansexuality) does not represent an imbalance of power.

Pedophilia is an imbalance of power and always will be. An adult will always have power over a child.
Bestiality is an imbalance of power and always will be. A human will always have power over an animal.
These are in no way comparable to any consenting sexual relationship between adults.

Suspiciously, theories of empowerment were nothing I heard about when I was being traumatized out of my mind about sex while growing up in a Christian church. Sex, in the fundamental Christian environment I grew up in, was about following certain rules. You are a healthy (God-fearing) person if you follow these strict rules about sex and sexuality.

It’s not terribly surprising that such an environment doesn’t encourage critical thought about, okay, what really actually applicably makes a sexual relationship healthy.

Babe, it’s not about a penis going in a vagina. It’s adults having power over their own bodies and consenting to be sexual with another adult. They are equally empowered, and they each have the right to say no at any time. If our society actually grasped this, not only would we stop comparing homosexuality to pedophilia, we might also FINALLY be able to crack down on our goddamn rape culture.

Equality of power and control.
That’s a healthy sexual relationship.